Four Random Things
1 day ago
Reflections on modern culture, America, the progress of reason and freedom, and on any other subject of interest to me.
Conductor: Mr. Kim Gab Yong.
Mr. Kim: Yes.
Conductor: You had worked before in Shin Hyan Ri, right? Why did you retire?
Mr. Kim: My age.
Conductor: Did you leave because they told you to leave? And still at your prime of 57?
Mr. Kim: It’s the rule.
Conductor: Then why didn’t you join another Orchestra after that?
Mr. Kim: My age.
Conductor: That’s an excuse.
Conductor: Why didn’t you[to the Contrabass player] go into the Orchestra after graduating college?
Contrabass: There was no place that wanted me.
Conductor: Excuse.
Conductor: Why didn’t you[to the 2nd trumpeter] go to the music college?
2nd Trumpeter: I had to work because my father was ill.
Conductor: What about your mother? Your siblings as well?
2nd Trumpeter: I’m the only child of a three generation family and my mother just knows how to dance. My father was lying in bed.
Conductor: He can’t work just because he was sick? He can’t cook noodles because he had to rest in bed?
2nd trumpeter: But my father is already lying in bed like a child---
Conductor: Why must all these be your concerns? Children, parents, we don’t need all of these. You can only think of yourselves! And you [turning to the 1st trumpeter, a self-taught genius], why didn’t you go to college? That’s right, what can I expect of such an arrogant fellow like you?
You must be selfish, all of you are too kind-hearted. No, it’s not kindness, but foolishness. You sacrificed because of your parents and kids. These are illusions. In the end, look at what you have become. You couldn’t do what you wanted and were unable to make a living. You only grew an inferior heart because you sacrificed for them. This is not kindness, not even foolishness, but inferiority. You all merely set your hearts on making 100 kinds of excuses and ran away!
From now on, there are no more places to escape to. As you can see, this is the roof top, on the edge of a cliff [they were meeting on top of the church where they rehearsed]. But then, if there is anyone who feels that they can’t do it all . . . I will not hold you back, just leave. This is your last chance to run away . . . [one begins to leave] But, I’ve already locked the door over there. You will have to jump down from here if you want to escape. I’ll give you all three seconds. One . . . two . . . three . . . No one? Good, it’s the choice of everyone, there are no objections, right?
Conductor: Your form looks great [he's "conducting" traffic]. Are you incorporating the baton technique that I taught you here? To tell you, for the idiot who can’t even keep track of the concert date. The concert starts at 6 o’clock and your solo’s the first song in the second act.
Are you happy? Are you happy to squirm and struggle in the heat, directing traffic in place of a faulty traffic light and breathing in all the exhaust? Ah, of course, I accept it. There are many different types of people. The people who think money’s the best in the world. The people who are ok with eating rice with just a piece of kimchi. The people who save up all their money to send to the destitute in Ethiopia, so that they can sleep with peace of mind. They are all different. There’s no right or wrong. Just living by your values.
So, you, Kang Gun Woo, by your values at this moment, are you happy? Let me ask you one thing. What about your wanting to learn how to conduct?
Kang Gun Woo: I wanted to learn.
Conductor: So, then?
Kang Gun Woo: I’m just going to leave it as a dream.
Conductor: A dream? How’s that your dream? It’s immovable. That’s a star, in the sky, something that you can’t have, something that you can’t even strive for, something you can only stare at---a star. Look who’s talking about some ridiculous and absurd story about stars now. You need to do something. You need to, even for a little, struggle, try hard, or at the very least, make plans to make a change . . . a change as small as your smell or color. By doing all that, you can call it your “dream.” Do you think it’s your “dream” if you just use the word to describe any idea? If it was that easy, then why don’t you make being a doctor, professor, lawyer, and prosecutor---everything---your dream? Why not? I’m not telling you to achieve your dreams. I’m telling you to at least dream the dream by trying.
Actually, all this talk is useless. What should I have to care about? The one who’s going to regret it the rest of his life is you. “I’m nothing more than this.” “I don’t have any dreams.” “I couldn’t even dream anything.” “I’ve been eaten up by life.” Live the rest of your life while tormenting yourself. By the time you die, maybe you’ll die with your last word being “Conducting?” and a scream.
Mayor: There's a saying that "losing is winning."
Conductor: That's just something the losers came up with to feel better.